Sunday, March 14, 2010

Evil Genius' IRATIK affair

What inspires you? If there's one thing I would say I wish I could go back to, in which I haven't been in awhile, is DIY creativity. With the burst of Technology nowadays, I swear to God i've gotten lazy and even more impatient than I can remember by far. I love DIY. I love the look of things that are hand done, and I love experimenting, with everything. I've always been the type to do things on my own.. and take pride in creating something with my two hands... :) and that says a lot coming for me...

Since the discovery of the computer lol hhaha actually not really.. i'd say ever since becoming a graphic designer, it's so easy to just do things digitally. Everything is done digitally.. gaaah but i love the craft of drawing, painting, crafting, creating, dark room photography.. many of the things I take for granted nowadays.. and sadly and shameful to say, i have no patience in doing... I keep telling myself.. gah.. "i should start painting.." but what really sucks, is when it comes down to it.. i spent far more then 75% of my time in front of my computer.. hahah the rest truthfully is sleeping or shopping.. and even worst, most times if i'm not creating something for design, i'm researching (shopping basically..) always out searching for what's new and trendy and see all the things i love and all the things i hate lol.. but none the less, sadly I am always in front of the computer.

You know i've realized, that I find myself sad sometimes viewing what others are doing in their lives, reading it, watching it... and I think, what the hell am I doing here... watching, reading, hearing about other people discovering their dreams, revealing their destinies and fulfilling their every awaited dreams and aspirations.

Why have I fallen so stagnant. To a young woman who was filled with the now of LIVING IRATIK, I feel my life of what used to be IRATIKness has failed to be nothing but the opposite, predictable, stagnant, and unfulfilling.. I want to grow so much, so many things i've left on the back burner. My sister and cousin are planning on going on a trip to Cali.. and unfortunately that doesn't seem like an option to me.. because i'm still coping with getting a job, settling a life.. getting insurance and gettin checked up for god's sake :( .

Trying.. hard?! am i. I swear it's like i've given up. What I would just wish so much for that part of me to awaken and rise up the occasion, but yet at the same time... where is that occasion? I've been down and out a lot lately... and no one really understands why. I mean they understand my situation. but I Don't think they really understand how I'm feeling, and how low it's brought me.. but I'm still hoping, I'm still praying... sometimes, sadly. But i'm still holding on to that little ounce of faith... all in which i really hope would rebuild itself again.. but i guess this will all take time..

what is this post about? haa i have no clue.. the title had started of Evil Genius' Iratik Affair, simply to portray the outfit which consists of Evil Genius' Holey Shirt and my DIY Fish Nets, in which i dared to try =p lol. Cut a few holes here and there.. my bf limited me lol. But yes... now that I think of it.. I used to live on how IRATIK my thoughts were, how crazy, how unpredictable.. and I used to thrive on the thought of creativity and how artists have their own little bit of Fine Maddness... and I guess that's how I'll tie this post in with what wasn't intentional.. but was merely an iratik prediction :) of but the MISS, of the Evil Genius of but this, another IRATIK AFFAIR... which is my life.

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